A few years ago, I did a piece on athletic brilliance. It was entitled, “Athletic brilliance, an oxymoron.” After the recent national elections, I thought it only proper to do a piece about the mental capacities of actors, also. I have met more than a few actors in my lifetime and most of them seemed to be decent, intelligent people. But there are a few of them that think their intelligence is enhanced because of their acting abilities; or possibly because of their fame or infamy.

There was a time when I thought that it might be rewarding to be an actor. After all, when I was a kid, most of my playtime was spent pretending to be someone else. That should more than qualify me as an actor. Real life on-the-job training should count for something, I should think. This seems to be the logic behind some of the statements made by actors in the heat of political battle. I played a president once; therefore, I am qualified to be one!

But I digress. This is supposed to be a piece about brilliant actors. Possibly I digressed because the mental giants in their ranks are so hard to find. They seem to come out only during national elections. Members of both parties like to be seen in the company of these people, but the Democratic candidates seem most likely to use the so-called brilliant actors to further their causes. Frankly, if I were ever in the position of running for a national office, I am dead certain I would steer clear of them all.

There always seems to be at least one actor who threatens to leave the country if a Republican gets elected to the presidency. When Bush the First ran, Barbra Streisand was going to leave. He won; Barbra stayed. Right away, she lost her political credibility with me.

Another time, Robert Redford said he would move to Ireland if Bush the Second won. Again, another Bush won; and again, Redford stayed. Bob’s political credibility went to zero with Bud. Maybe they were both pretending to be someone else when they made those statements.

Johnny Depp, who makes his fortunes here in the U.S. but sometimes lives in and spends them in France, says that all Americans are dumb. I guess he forgot that he is also an American when he made that remark. That makes his remark true in at least one instance. I haven’t heard yet whether or not he has applied for French citizenship.

Actors are everywhere; telling us how we should think, how we should dress, what we should eat, how we should vote and how we should raise our kids. They are experts in every subject under the sun. But here’s the kicker! They want us to live the way they think we should, but their own ideas should not apply to them. Ms. Streisand once actually made that statement that to an equally dimwitted television reporter. I guess he was so enthralled with her new nose job that he just forgot to call her on that.

Rosie O’Donnell was, and still might be, an advocate for you and me to adopt minority children instead of those of our own race. She and her female partner have adopted four children, all Caucasian. I rest my case.

Apparently, great knowledge is imparted to the famous and infamous by a scientific principal known as osmosis. As near as I can ascertain, all knowledge must be floating around in the atmosphere, just waiting for a person to become really well known. People like me; and possibly you, must obtain knowledge by going to a school or college and studying to obtain some degree of it; however, if we can do something that will make us famous or infamous, all the knowledge in the world will suddenly make a beeline to our brains and we will become omniscient.

This may sound like a far-fetched theory, but it’s the best one I can come up with to explain this explosion of genius in the entertainment field. If you have a better theory than that, I’d be interested in hearing it. Well, I’ve got to close now. My wife and I are going to watch a movie on television. We enjoy their pretending, but I don’t think we’re going to follow any of their advice.

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