There is a question in physics that goes like this: What happens if an irresistible force collides with an immovable object? There is no answer to that query, of course, except maybe a black hole. But, for the sake of argument, let’s say that the irresistible force is truth and the immovable object is the closed human mind. Wow, Bud! You are getting deep, aren’t you?

True enough, but these are the only things I can think of that approximate the subjects in the unanswerable question posed above. But, by changing the objects above, the irresistible force and the immovable object, to truth and the closed human mind, I can draw a conclusion as to what the answer to the above poser might be.

I have been writing columns for The Logan Daily for over 15 years. After trying, in vain it seems, to bring bits of truth to the forefront from among the gobbledygook presented as evening news, the results have shown me that truth, the irresistible force, cannot even begin to dent the immovable object, the closed human mind. Therefore, I GIVE UP!

I have come to the conclusion that, in human minds, once they are made up, they are impervious to truth, no matter how the truth is presented. I have tried presenting it with humor, sarcasm, cynicism, and straight forwardness, but to no avail. The closed, made-up mind is totally impervious to truth no matter how it may be presented. Too bad. After all, a closed mind must surely have tons of room left for new information, but, apparently not. This is indeed, a sobering discovery.

The closed mind accepts innuendo as truth. Accusation without proof as truth. Guilt by association as truth. I can almost understand why. All these things are much juicier and flavorful to the taste buds of the human mind than dull, boring truth might be. The closed mind truly believes that where there is smoke, there must be fire, without considering the possibility that the smoke could be a man-caused smoke screen to conceal the truth. If the closed mind were an artist, it would paint only with broad brushes and huge washes.

So, I have made up my mind to try close-mindedness for a while. Think of all the energy I will save. Money, too! I’ll need only one big, ratty old brush and but one pigment, probably the fifty-first shade of gray, in my palette and not have to worry about nasty old truth anymore. I know, I know. How big is the market for a dull gray, abstract painting? But, I don’t have to worry about that anymore. Who would buy it anyway?

I have read about a hundred and twenty or more books so far this year. Think of all the time I will save by not reading anymore. My mind will now look just like that last book I read. Closed, that is. No more researching for an article I’d like to write. No more clogging my limited number of brain cells with the stupidity of trying to gain even more knowledge. Wow! I feel much, much better already! And lighter, too.

I didn’t know that knowledge had actual weight to it. Must be something psychologically advantageous about deliberately getting stupid. And, think of all the money I will save by not buying books. In fact, I think I’ll close down any subscriptions I might have, also. No sense in accidentally reading something that will add to the terrible burden of knowledge my brain must be suffering from.

And think of all the aggravation I’ll save myself by not seeing and hearing all those moronic, lying politicians’ ads on TV. That alone will be worth giving up my knowledge for. Duh! I’m feeling much more stupid right now, in fact. What a relaxing feeling that is! It’s marvelous!

I’m shocked that I never thought of this before. I imagine I might begin to feel withdrawal symptoms from this marvelous new feeling of euphoria I’m acquiring, so I’ll probably need your help and support. If you see me and I accidentally ask you, “Hey! What’s new?” Don’t tell me. Especially if it’s the truth. Because, in this wonderful new state of mind I’ve acquired, I probably couldn’t handle the truth!

Bud Simpson writes a weekly column published in The Logan Daily News. The views of this column may not necessarily reflect that of the newspaper.

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